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How do I figure out what to do with the rest of my life?

It's been asked too many times, but even as I read all those answers, nothing helped, so here goes...

I'm not really good at anything, and I don't really enjoy much, the few (and I mean so very few) things I am nearly mediocre at (that's the best I am at anything) is writing poetry (which doesn't make you famous or rich until your dead) and well, maybe that was it. I like playing video games, but these days you have to be really good at Halo to play professional tournaments (and I'm not, nor do I have any desire to be) and last I heard there will never be a 'Play Final Fantasy all the way through and get paid' billboard anywhere. I can't write for a video game magazine (they all want people with degrees and I neither have the patience nor the money nor the credit for a loan to go to school) and I'm buried to my head in debt.

I might like to race cars, but who'd really let me behind the wheel of their $100,000 car with my driving record, basically, I'm ****ed right?

I am like you, but age 40. Consider this, which is what I suspect: we suffer from depression. We enjoy things less than others, and thus, nothing really sticks out to us as "wow, THAT is what I want to do!" Nothing. Never.

Sound like you? Well, that is me. I have tried career counseling, both in college and after, and have tried many things.

Like you (again, sorry), if pressed to identify what I might be "best" at, I would reply, "writing." For my 40 years, yes, I have received a few miniscule "pats on the back" in regards to my writing, but little more. Since I don't enjoy things, experiences, etc., anything, I don't have a novel or a screenplay, etc. inside me, burning to get out.

But look, does ay of this seem to ring true to you, or, is it just me, "rambling...?" Write me, and maybe I can throw you a couple "crazy-but-it-works"-type ideas. You know, if you want me to. saul@inter7.jp

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